Last year when the whole 50 Shades of Grey phenomena was exploding, before I knew anything about the books other than their popularity and that they included some elements of BDSM, I gave Serafina an assignment to read the books.  I can't say it ended up being a favorite assignment for either one of us, as I had to read the books myself, and I can't say that I'm personally a fan of romance novels, which is where I'd categorize 50 Shade of Grey and it's sequels.

I'd also previously asked my slave/wife to read Laura Antoniou's Marketplace series, but she found the initial premise to be objectionable, as she found the entire concept of preparing a slave (even a consensual one) for the auction block to be more than a little bit personally distasteful.  I've long been a fan of Antoniou's writing, and have always considered the Marketplace books to be the epitome of good BDSM literature.

Just over a week ago, on Feburary 24th, I reassigned The Marketplace to Serafina for her reading lessons, asking her to get beyond her personal prejudice against a human being sold at an auction, asking her to remember that in the fictional world of the Marketplace the individuals she'd be reading about had chosen their paths quite willingly.

I'm pleased to report that my darling slave/wife has not only completed The Marketplace (including the bonus short stories included with the kindle edition) but is deep into it's sequel, The Slave.  Another year of immersion in the lifestyle has broadened her perspective enough so that she's now enjoying the series very much.

Serafina gives her submission and service to me out of love, so the thought of a slave needing to be a slave so badly that they'd essentially be willing to be auctioned off to a term of service will always be a bit foreign to her, of that I am sure.  I never found the concept disturbing, in fact if such a thing as the Marketplace had existed in real life, I'd have found a way to seek it out.  I would have aspired to be a trainer . . .

Daydreams aside, I'm rather gratified that Serafina is enjoying her current reading assignments, so gratified I wanted to share it here.  I can't even begin to say how much it pleases me to see her grow in her acceptance and understanding of all things BDSM, it makes my heart feel young again.

“Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.”
   --  Carl Jung

This is one of the memes that has been making it's rounds of the blogosphere, I've observed it on several differnt blogs, so I can't even say for sure where I first saw it

1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
The simple answer is - both . . .
Samadhi House is a fairly cozy place, especially so because we have far more furniture than fits comfortably (long story) so some closets have had their doors removed for simplicity, convenience, and ease of access.  All closets with doors are closed when not actively in use - isn't that the point of having doors?

2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
Of course!  The products are brought home and placed in a box where the sit forgotten.  Once every ten years (or so) the box is emptied, and the cycle begins anew.  I think Serafina does actually use the products occasionally, or she did before we started using Dr Bronners soaps.

3. Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
I don't get any newspapers, so don't get coupons to clip, unless they show up in my PO Box.  When coupons show up the the PO box they are brought home, placed on the kitchen table until they expire, then we throw them away.  If this doesn't seem perfectly logical to you, also refer to my answer about hotel soap.

4. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
I'm sorry, but I can't help picturing being attacked by a bear who's being chased by a swarm of bees.  Aren't Sadist's minds scary places to visit?

5. Do you always smile for pictures?
Not if I'm busy flogging someone . . .

6. What is your biggest pet peeve?
People with pet peeves . . . get over yourselves already, OK?

7. What size is your bed?
Apparently it's big enough for two people, but not large enough for three . . .

8. What’s your least favorite movie?
Ummmmm, this kind of question is one of my pet peeves!  OK not really, I got over myself a while back, but that sounded like a good answer.

I can't really say that I have an answer for this question, I try to dwell on the positive, so my mind has never stored away a least favorite.  I suppose I could use this as an excuse to take an editorial moment and explain that I will never understand the appeal of the Jackass show or movies, but I can't say that I've ever had more than a glimpse at them, so it wouldn't be fair to judge them on that limited basis (although it does seem like I have doesn't it?)

9. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
The trash can - and it's not a dip, it's a tumble!  Seriously, just about anything is better than a McNugget built from some kind of pink slime.  Now if we are talking a piece of real chicken, not just congealed parts, I'm a BBQ sauce kinda guy.

10. What is your favorite food?
I like a good steak, cooked medium rare.

11. What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
I can't think of any mainstream movies I'd put into this category.  The only thing that comes to mind is a foreign flick alternately called The Punishment of Anne or The Image by director Radley Metzger.

The Image is not a movie that's terribly widely known or circulated, in fact when a former submissive of mine was once trying to source a copy as a gift for me circa 2000-2001, she went as far as contacting Metzger himself looking for a DVD copy, only to be told it wasn't available.  Fortunately that's changed, because my worn out old copy on videotape was in Sony Betamax format!  I love showing other folks in the BDSM lifestyle this movie, so it has always had more than it's share of screenings at Samadhi House.


12. Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
I was a Cub Scout at an early age, until my mom took objection to their oath including God . . .

Later when was in High School, I became an Explorer Scout, mostly because the local group included a young lady I was interested in exploring.

13. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
I'd like to say yes, as it does sound like fun!
But, in reality I have to temper that enthusiasm with the fact that back about 20 years ago I was asked to be a nude model for life-drawing classes at a couple of local colleges, and I declined.  I'm a highly sexual person, and the offer was to model with my ex-wife who was built like a brick shithouse, I was afraid that I'd have to fight an erection popping up the entire time.  Of course, in retrospect it was pretty foolish of me to not want to go into a room full of college girls and "advertise" - I mean what was I afraid of?

14. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
I write to Serafina in a notebook every single day.

15. Favorite kind of sandwich?
BLT

16. Best thing to eat for breakfast?
Oatmeal is best for me, so I eat that four days a week.  The other three days of the week it's usually some version of eggs and toast, perhaps with a smoked loin chop on the side if I'm feeling extravagant.

17. What is your usual bedtime?
I'm an early to be and early to rise kinda guy.  Weeknights I'm usually in bed by 10pm, although with Serafina next to me, that doesn't always mean I'm going to sleep right away!

18. Are you lazy?
I work hard when I need to, but I enjoy my leisure time as much as the next guy, maybe more.

19. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
I support Fetlife, I have a subscription to the Training of O site at kink.com, I also subscribe to Netflix and Spotify - but I have no traditional subscriptions in terms of print magazines.  I think the last subscription I had was a neat little hobbyist magazine called Military Miniatures In Review.

20. Do you sing in the car?
I sing in lots of places, not just the car . . . When I cooked for a living, they used to call me the "singing chef" . . .

21. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
Menards (a large chain hardware store) has better "pervertables" than any of those choices, as does a farm supply store called Farm 'n' Fleet.  I shop those stores as often as I do Wally World (Wal-Mart) - but it's hard to beat Wally World's low low prices for groceries.  When we had a local grocery with unionized employees, I did shop there, but it's been gone for years . . .

22. What’s your favorite color?
Black Leather . . . if you don't consider "black leather" to be an actual color choice, I'll just go with black.

23. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
Out!  Serafina used to keep tucking those sheet bottoms in tight, I had to keep kicking them out each night when I went to bed.  Now she knows better.  She learned that I'm like the Borg, in the end, resistance was futile and she was assimilated!

24. Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
Me?  Never!
How do I explain the street signs in my garage you ask?
My neighbor gave them to me . . .  ;)

25. Do you like to use post-it notes?
No, but I have 14 different tabs open in my browser. (I admit I closed 4 others as I was counting!)

"There are a hundred ways to kneel and kiss the ground." 
    -Rumi

I write, at least in part, because I love words and word play.  So, imagine my great joy at discovering a new word that equates with being a lover of bondage!

Merinthophilia is now officially declared the "word of the day" here at Samadhi House!

Believe it or not, there's even a Facebook page for merinthophiliacs!

Inside the Chicago Marriott Downtown Magnificent Mile

Oh my dear friends and readers, it was a glorious day on Friday, as Serafina and I road tripped to IML2013 for kinky shopping. Our destination was the Chicago Marriott Downtown Magnificent Mile (yes it's a pretentious hotel name - don't blame me, I'm just the reporter) where IML2013's vending area was waiting.

With nary a cloud in the vast blue mid-western sky, the drive up was absolutely beautiful. Of course my lovely slave/wife Serafina was a delight to converse with as I drove. I really do cherish our rides together, as we often spend our time talking without any outside distractions, and that kind of time is truly priceless.

I don't think I missed any toolbooths on the way up (that might not have been the case on the way home in rush hour traffic) and outside of the usual heavy traffic one encounters in downtown Chicago, the trip was essentially uneventful.

We found secure all day parking for just $10 (just as mushroom hunters don't give up their prize patches – I don't disclose my parking secrets) only a few blocks from the Marriott on Michigan Avenue. Serafina was dressed in a short and slutty cheerleader's style skirt with a black lace top that left little (or nothing to the imagination.) Because I knew we were going to walk a few blocks to get cheap parking, not to mention the 5 hours of walking and shopping her feet would have to endure, I didn't have my slave wear any sort of heels or fetish shoes. And, as a nod to the cold wind off of Lake Michigan, I did let her carry a sweater to wear for the walk. What a kind Master, right?

I wore my dress uniform style leather shirt (replete with epaulets) - accessorized with a classic Sam Browne style shoulder belt. I may not be gay, but I'm not so straight that I'm going to go hang with a bunch of hot hunky men dressed in fetish clothes and not actually look the part myself – hell no! The only thing missing from my outfit was a pair of Wesco boots, but once again the compromise was a nod to sensibility. Instead I wore a black Keen hiking boot that are particular comfortable for tired old feet like mine.

While our outfits might (and actually did) turn a few heads in places like Rock Falls where we stopped on the way for food, or the DeKalb Oasis where we stopped for gas, I really didn't feel “noticed” at all walking down Chicago city streets in that attire. OK, I need to retract that statement, I did notice one woman getting perturbed with her husband for perhaps noticing Serafina's breasts a little more ardently than she would have preferred. I figure that's not too bad a result at all for our little exhibitionistic walk, and if nothing else, the outfits seemed to keep the panhandlers at a bay, well at least for the walk to the hotel.

The Chicago Marriott Downtown Magnificent Mile does, for the most part, live up to it's swanky and pretentious name. I'm not saying that I'd pay the $500+ dollars a night the rooms can cost on some nights of the week, but I will admit that I'd understand why a person of means might decide to spend a night (or three) there. The Marriott is a beautiful building with very striking décor inside, but let's be very honest, when attending an event like IML, it's really not the venue that you notice.

Last year at the Hyatt-Regency, it felt a little bit as though some of the staff were off-put by the unabashed attire and behavior that can accompany this event. I never once got that feeling at the Marriott at IML2013. The staff was all smiles, and they honestly seemed to be enjoying the presence of all the young, virile (not to mention very sexually charged) presence of leathermen from around the globe.

Once inside we quickly found our way to vending registration area, showed our ID's, signed our names, gave our $5 donation, and were given wristbands to flash in order to access the vending area. Again, unlike the Hyatt-Regency, the vending area was not found down in the bowels of the building, instead it had been consigned to both the 5th and 7th floors of the Marriott.

Outside of the registration area I stopped for a moment, drawing serafina towards a quiet area without much traffic, I asked her to produce the pretty new leash I'd recently purchased as a present for her. It was a horridly overpriced little treat from Scott Paul Designs, but as with many things where fetish or kink is involved, seeing my wonderful slave/wife attached to the pretty purple leash, ready to be led around the event all day on my lead . . . Well, it was priceless!

Walking into the 5th floor was a bit like entering a maze where the walls were composed of BDSM gear and fetish attire. Going in prepared and ready for the spectacle, having shopped at IML before, the whole atmosphere was still a little bit awe inspiring and overwhelming. I don't mean that it a bad way, I'm simply saying that the endless walls of goods and gear have a real effect for folks who's hearts belong to BDSM, fetish, and kink. It makes one's heart race just a little

It's easy to completely miss a single vendor in a corner, or even an entire row of vendors if a person isn't careful. To assure I didn't miss anything I was very methodical in my approach to navigating the world's greatest leather shopping area. When approaching the maze of vendors I simply turned to my right upon entering, and then took every possible aisle, going up one side and down the other, methodically taking in every vendor and their wares.

There are a few things about this show that seem different than many others, as vendors have no problems letting customers try on and try out some very personal items. When asking how a lovely metal ball stretcher actually worked, I was immediately invited to try it on for size.

When I politely declined (my question truly indicated curiosity rather than personal interest in the item) - the vendor, following proper sales protocol, refused to take my first no as a hard no, and offered again, saying that if I was shy I could try it on in a corner of their display area. Once again, my refusal was met with yet more polite insistence, which I declined for the third time.

So if attending IML's vending area, it is important to be ready to see guys whipping out their junk to try on cock rings, ball stretchers, as well as other various assorted CBT goodies and toys for bad men and boys. It's also important that you are ready to see ass-crack galore, while some events prohibit nudity of that sort, it really does seem that most anything goes. Last year we witnessed a slightly built man of Japaneses descent, completely naked, crawling across the floor of the floor of the hotel and the vending area on his knees, with a sign hung around his neck. Without a doubt, it had to be the longest walk (crawl) of shame I've ever witnessed . . .

Another thing that's different about this event is the relaxed atmosphere concerning cameras. A lot of fetish/kink/leather/BDSM events prohibit picture taking, or severely limit it in some way, but there's not an eye blinked when folks start shooting pictures (or even video) with their phones and cameras. Some vendors put on elaborate demos to entertain the crowd and attract interest for their products, and it's not uncommon to find a tightly packed group of unabashed voyeuristic men, packed around the display, shooting video with their cell phones.

When it was all said and done, we spent 5 solid hours without a break circling the vending area, we pretty well kept moving and didn't stop for long to gawk at any of the demos. Even at that pace, it still felt as though we were rushing towards the end. Booths that didn't appear to have any items of interests were quickly bypassed, and vendors I'm very familiar with online (like TheStockroom and Mr-S-Leather) got less attention than they deserved.

We did make one social call during the day as well, stopping at the dungeonbeds.com booth to chat with the one of owners about last year's purchase. Even there we were quick and efficient with our time, shaking hands making small talk and praising their product before we returned to our quest for toys.

When it was all said and done, we'd purchased items from 7 different vendors, with a complete tally exceeding $800. We'd picked up everything on the shopping list we'd arrived with, along with a few extras we didn't know we needed. The biggest single purchase was a very nice spanking bench, which will be custom built to our specifications and shipped to our home next month. The second largest purchases were a very striking masquerade mask for serafina, and a nice dragon's tongue flogger that is for serafina too, but in a different way . . .

All told, we drove 8 hours round trip, walked about 15 blocks thru Chicago, spent 6 hours total on our feet without a break, making it close to a 14 hour day. Cost wise we spent close to $1000 on food, gas, tolls, parking and (best/most of all) lots of fun fetish and BDSM gear. We saved back $100 a month for the last year to shop at this event, so we actually came in “under budget” for the day.

IML2013 Vendor's List

29 Palms - The Collectors Oasis        Rockford, IL
Acme Toy Company.com                        Evanston, IL                 www.theacmetoycompany.com
Adonis Leathercrafters                             Indian Rocks Beach, FL    www.adonisleathercrafters.com
Alt. Kilt                                                Madison, WI                 www.altkilt.com
Andre Whips/ Ms-V                                Repentigny, Quebec         www.andrewhips.com
Atomic Jock                                       Chatsworth, CA         www.atomicjock.com
Balls and Chains                                Hollywood, CA         www.ballsandchains.com
Barcode Berlin                                       Houston , TX                www.slsspecialty.com
BDG Sales, LLC                               Tamaqua, PA                www.bdgslaes.com
Bear Ink                                               Augusta, GA
BearGearusa.com                               Indianapolis, IN                www.beargearusa.com
BearTshirts.com                               Indianapolis, IN                www.beartshirts.com
Boot Werks                                       Hinton, WVA                www.leatherwerks.com
Bootleg Life                                       Berwyn, IL
Bound & Gagged                              New York, NY                www.boundandgagged.com
Boy Butter                                      New York, NY                www.boybutter.com
BURLYSHIRTS / Shane Ruff Studios     Eliot, ME                        www.burleyshirts.com
C3 Casual Clothing                              Indianapolis, IN                www.c3casualclothing.com
Cheaplubes.com                              Portage, IN                www.cheaplubes.com
Chicago Dragons Rugby Football Club   Chicago, IL                        www.chicagodragons.org
Chicago Hellfire Club                      Chicago, IL               www.helfire13.org
City of Chicago Department of Health     Chicago, IL                   www.facebook.com/ChicagoPublicHealth
CJ's Leather                                      Denver, CO             www.cjsleather.com
Dancing Painter                                      Chicago, IL             www.dancingpainter.com
Dr. Clockwork's Electrical and Medical Oddities Lebanon, NJ       www.drclockwork.com
Dungeon Beds                                      San Francisco, CA      www.dungeonbeds.com
E7 Gear                                              Yonkers, NY              www.E7Gear.com
Eagle Leathers                                      Chicago, IL
Exotic-Erotics                                      Shelbyville, KY             www.exotic-erotics.com
Fetiche Armada                              Montreal, Quebec           www.fetisharmada.com
Folsom Street East                              New York, NY             www.folsomstreeteast.org
Folsom Street Events                      San Francisco, CA     www.folsomstreetevents.org
Fort Troff                                              Atlanta, GA             www.forttroff.com
Gear Essentials                                      Minneapolis, MN     www.gearessentials.com
Got Kilt                                             White Lake, MI              www.got-kilt.com
GuySpy                                              Vancouver, B.C.              www.guyspy.com
Hands for Hire Chair Massage             Niles, IL
HardpointsGreyCat Workshop              Madison, WI                    hardpoints.greycatworkshop.com
Howard Brown Health Center             Chicago, IL                     www.howardbrown.org
ID Lube                                             Santa Ana, CA            www.idlube.com
Industrial Disease Toys LLC                  Madison, WI            www.idustrialdiseasetoys.com
InsideOutShirts.net                             Radford, VA             www.insideoutshirts.net
Jewelry by Ponce                             Happy Valley, OR     www.jewelrybyponceportland.com
Killerbob Graphics                             San Francisco, CA     www.killerbob.com
KJ Canes                                             Baltimore, MD            www.kjcanes.com
Le Chateau Exotique & LCE Ltd     Yardley, PA            www.fetishwear.com
Leather Archives & Museum              Chicago, IL             www.leatherarchives.org
Leather Bonding Co.                             N. Miami, FL            www.leatherbonding.com
Leather Masters                             Dallas, TX                    www.leathermasters.com
Leather Werks                                     Fort Lauderdale, FL    www.leatherwerks.com
Lockergear                                     Pittsburgh, PA            www.lockergear.com
Lucom USA                                     Miami Beach, FL             www.pjurman.com
M4M411.com                                    Chicago, IL                     www.m4m411.com
Man2Man Leather                            Castaic, CA                     www.man2manleather.com
Manhunt                                            Cambridge, MA                www.manhunt.net
Marvelous Mayhem                           Snellville, CA                    www.marvelousmayhem.com
Master Series                                   Huntington Beach, CA    www.themaster-series.com
Mid America Fists In Action             Cicero, IL                    www.mafiaff.org
MIR Mr. International Rubber               Chicago, IL                    www.mirubber.com
MISTER                                            New York, NY            www.misterapp.com
Mr-S-Leather                                 San Francisco, CA            www.mr-s-leather.com
Mr. Friendly                                    Kalamazoo, MI             www.mrfriendly.info
Mr. Hyde's Custom Leather                  New Orleans                   www.etsy.com/shop/mrhydesleather
Nasty Pig                                           New York, NY             www.nastypig.com
Northbound Leather                              Toronto, Ontario             www.northbound.com
NYJox                                             North Bergen, NJ    www.nyjox.com
Obscure Belts                                     Kenosha, WI            www.obscurebelts.com
Off Ramp Leathers                              Palm Springs, CA    www.offrampleathers.com
OraSure Technologie                             Bethlehem, PA              www.oraquick.com
Orbitz
Oxballs                                              Chatsworth, CA         www.oxballs.com
Paddle Werks                                     Hinton, WVA               www.leatherwerks.com
PASD and CARAS                            Oak Park, ILwww.carasresearch.org
Passional BoutiquePhiladelphia, PAwww.passionalboutique.com
Pjur Group USA                              Miami Beach, FL             www.pjurman.com
Priape                                           Montreal, Quebecwww.priape.com
Puppy Grillz                                  West Hollywood, CAwww.puppygrillz.com
Rainbow Rope/Kinky MedicalOceanside, NYwww.rainbowrope.com
Raw Candles                                 Madison, WIwww.rawcandles.com
Recon.com                                    Chicago, ILwww.recon.com
Rough Trade                               Los Angeles, CAwww.roughtradegear.com
Rubio Leather                                New York, NYwww.rubioleather.com
Semmerling & Schaefer Mask Studio  Chicago, ILwww.maskartists.com
Sheets of San Francisc                San Rafael, CAwww.sheetsofsanfrancisco.com
SLS Specialty                              Houston , TX                www.slsspecialty.com
Sold Out ClothingWest Hollywood, CAwww.soldoutclothing.com
Square Peg Toys                          Idyllwild, CAwww.squarepegtoys.com
Steamworks                             San Francisco, CAwww.steamworksonline.com
Steve Leather                        New York, NY
Stockroom                              Los Angeles, CAwww.stockroom.com
Stompers Boots                       San Francisco, CAwww.stompersboots.com
The Kink Shop                        Shreveport, LAwww.thekinkshop.com
The Leather JournalLos Angeles, CAwww.theleatherjournal.com
The Leather Man, Inc               New York, NYwww.theleatherman.com
The Writers Booth & BearsChicago, ILwww.marcthecomic.com
Timoteo L.L.C.                    Los Angeles, CAwww.timoteo.net
TLS RubberGear / Midnight Blue  Houston , TXwww.tlsrubbergear.com
Toolworks Chicago                   Willowbrook, ILwww.floggers.com
Tribal Son                            Fort Lauderdale, FL                  www.tribalson.com
Tropicana Las Vegas                   La Verne, CAwww.troplv.com
Twin Cities LeatherMinneapolis, MNwww.twincitiesleather.com
Unzicker Design                          Ojai, CAwww.unzickerdesign.com
Utilikilts                                   Seattle, WA                       www.utilikilts.com

Masters are those who by nature have suffered to get to where they are. They have experienced endless criticisms of their work, doubts about their progress, setbacks along the way. They know deep in their bones what is required to get to the creative phase and beyond. As mentors, they alone can gauge the extent of our progress, the weakness in our character, the ordeals we must go through to advance. In this day and age, you must get the sharpest dose of reality that is possible from your mentor. You must go in search of it and welcome it. If possible, choose a mentor who is known for supplying this form of tough love. If they shy away from giving it, force them to hold up the mirror that will reflect you as you are. Get them to give you the proper challenges that will reveal your strengths and weaknesses and allow you to gain as much feedback as possible, no matter how hard it might be to take. Accustom yourself to criticism. Confidence is important, but if it is not based on a realistic appraisal of who you are, it is mere grandiosity and smugness. Through the realistic feedback of your mentor you will eventually develop a confidence that is much more substantial and worth possessing.
    ~~ excerpt from Mastery by Robert Greene

The preceding excerpt from Greene's book isn't talking about "mastery" in the BDSM sense, but in the end, it applies to our community just as much as it does any other. I'm convinced that mastery of the "Art of BDSM" is as valid a pursuit as mastery of the nuances of painting with oils, or any other form of mastery we might encounter in the vanilla world.

BDSM and kink matter to me, they matter a lot. I can't honestly say that BDSM is my only personal calling, as my profession is also a true calling for me as well. One without the other could overwhelm Michael and change him for the worse. But let me be clear, BDSM truly is a calling, and when done properly, it's an art as well.

So, I'm sure some reading this are wishing to ask, "Michael, are you serious? Comparing the wielding of a flogger with the wielding of a fine sable brush? You've either got to be kidding, or full of yourself. Are you really trying to make yourself out as some DiVinci of the single tail whip or something?"

This essay isn't about me, I'm not claiming to be Master of anything but Serafina. And while I captivated her heart, she's also a gift from God, just as surely as her service is a gift from her heart. She's not an example of my art, but instead that of the Creator.

My art is more subtle and far more human. My art is in making a woman pant out of control, then teaching her exercises to control her own breathing and through it her mind. My art is in exploring limits, learning that my partners and I have hidden depths of character, emotion, and passion we might never have imagined.

At it's heart, BDSM is erotic theater, and therefore it's a performance art. It doesn't take an audience to create erotic drama, it doesn't even take two people. The solo bondage artist, practicing his craft in a carefully protected sanctum of privacy, is an erotic artist, performing a role no less dramatic than any other.

Now once we've embraced the concept of BDSM as an art form, it follows that the world of kink is not a place where one can appear and suddenly "know" all it takes to be a Master. For those "tourist" types who think they are "insta-dom" and suddenly God's gift to the submissive world, I've got some news, and it holds a lesson for new submissives as well . . .

The more a person claims to have mastered, the less they actually know . . .

The first time I tied a girl up for sex was 1980, I've had three BDSM wedding nights since that day. I've lived in a 24/7 BDSM lifestyle since about 1990, with a few breaks forced on by life, but that's the human condition, we aren't living lives like in a romance novel.

And let me tell you something - despite the more than 30 years of experience; despite the thousands of hours I've spent playing BDSM games in a living rooms, basements, or dungeons; despite the ability's and skills I've learned and possess, there's still more I don't know and don't understand than what I do.

I am still merely an apprentice!

I may have Mastered my Serafina, but I have not yet Mastered my art. I still learn from every individual I meet in this community, new or old, experienced or otherwise. They may not be able to teach me a new skill, they may not ever be able to directly help me master a skill I'm actively learning, but I learn from them all nevertheless.

Serafina is fond of saying that slavery is not a destination, but rather a path. Obviously that's true for dominants as well. Mastery is a path not a destination.

I love to challenge submissives, and without knowing it they often find ways to challenge me in return. I honestly hope there's never a day when I'm no longer challenged, never a day when there's nothing left to learn. I think that's the day my art would die.

You may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
You may find yourself in another part of the world
You may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
You may find yourself in a beautiful house with a beautiful wife
You may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?
Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down
Letting the days go by, water flowing underground
Into the blue again after the money's gone
Once in a lifetime, water flowing underground
You may ask yourself, how do I work this?

 lyric from Once in a Lifetime by David Byrne, Chris Franz, Tina Weymouth, Jerry Harrison, Brian Eno

So, I find myself sitting at a restaurant. And I find myself sharing a meal with another couple from the BDSM lifestyle. And I find myself sitting with my wonderfully lovely slave/wife Serafina on my right. And I find myself with the equally lovely EvaKaye, my new submissive, on my left.

I guarantee that the three most beautiful, the three most radiant, the three sexiest (not to mention the three kinkiest) women in the establishment were sitting there at my table! And, two of them are mine!

And, at this point I really do ask myself, how did I get here? Believe it or not, I also asked myself, how do I work this?

Now I have to confess that my thoughts weren't really the lyrics of a popular song, the actual thought that comes to mind when sitting in a booth with EvaKaye on one side and Serafina on the other is this:

"Dear Lord, I don't know what I'e done to earn the honor and privilege of being able to accompany these two wonderful creatures, but please God, give me the strength, wisdom, and courage to do them justice. To my eyes Lord, they are your most beautiful creations."

I also believe that can be roughly translated to mean "How did I get here?" and "How do I work this?"

Dominants are supposed to have answers, at least that's the reality I come from (your mileage and reality may vary!) Yes, I suppose I have my share of answers, but it seems I have more than my share of questions as well these days too.

I guess if I think long and hard enough I can answer "How did I get here?" - the path I've taken is clear enough in retrospect, even if looking back now it's overgrown and more than a little tortuous. I bought into the whole "road less traveled" imagery so much that most of my life I've been bushwhacking thru underbrush, nary a footstep, let along another's path to follow.

And I suppose that's the experience that has made the man who stands before you today. Everything I do, everything I experience, it truly is a once in a lifetime event. All our yesterday's are gone, and tomorrow's sometime never come. That's the real reason we are told to live for the moment, to seize the day, because in the end that's all we have, this one moment in this one lifetime, to experience what's before us.

I mean not only am I blessed with the aforementioned submissive and slave that I can call my own, I also get to mentor and play with a third lovely lady masochist who is enthralling in her own right. I also have good friends in the lifestyle, and am finding more all the time.

I'm certainly not going to be appearing on any commercials as the worlds most interesting man, that's without a doubt true, but I'd be willing to accept the title of "world's luckiest man". For God's sake, in addition to the slave, submissive, and play partner, there's even a St Andrew's Cross, a Dungeon bed, a suspension frame, and a spanking bench spread out between the rooms of my home's main floor. World's luckiest man indeed!

So, I guess that means that it turns out that I also have at least a semblance of an answer to the question, "How do I work this?"

And the answer is simple, I look to the values that brought me to where I am today. I look at how I got here to see where I'm going. And the realization that suddenly strikes me, is that - Everything I really need to know I learned from BDSM.

• Honor
• Respect
• Responsibility
• Integrity
• Compassion
• Courage
• Passion
• Desire
• Giving
• Sharing

No matter what lesson I've needed to learn, I've realized my own best answers from studying and living this lifestyle.

I know that's not the path that most others take, but most don't tie their first girl up for sex 7 months before their 18th birthday. Well, maybe with the internet that's not so true anymore, but back in 1980, my path hadn't been much more than trailblazed before me.

I came from a dysfunctional family, and was an only child to boot, not to mention having no children of my own. So, it's become true that the fetish/kink/BDSM community is my real family. I'm often asked how I can have a St Andrew's Cross and a dungeon bed in my living room, what do I do when people who don't live the lifestyle come to visit?

I never liked answering a question with a question, but can't help but reply - "Why would I want people who don't understand my lifestyle visiting my home?"

That's how I work it for now, but even that's open to change. One never knows where the next twist in the road will take me, the only thing I'm sure of today is that BDSM has shaped me (and my life) for the better. BDSM has become a core part of who I am.

Michael Samadhi has become as much "who I am" as any name my Mother might have put on a birth certificate . . . Once in a lifetime indeed!

You may ask yourself, what is that beautiful house?
You may ask yourself, where does that highway lead to?
You may ask yourself, am I right, am I wrong?
You may say to yourself, my god, what have I done?

Well you may ask yourself those things, I know very well what I've done. And I know what I'm going to do too . . .

Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was

Now go find out for yourself, what BDSM can do for you!

Michael Samadhi
8/4/2013

image of Jeff Gord and Ashley Renee from Jeff Gord's twitter

Jeff Gord - a master, a BDSM pioneer, a visionary, a hero to many, and a true BDSM artist passed from this world earlier this week on September 3rd. Jeff was the genius behind the House of Gord - a site devoted to ultra bondage and Forniphilia.

While he's listed among my Fetlife friends, I can't say that I was privileged to have met Jeff in person. Our only contact was a few brief messages exchanged via mail here and at (believe it or not) tumblr. Yet, I can honestly say he touched my life, and even left a visible reminder of that contact, something that's very meaningful to me.

You see, Jeff Gord recommended the craftsman who created the custom collar that's going to be placed around Serafina's neck at our collaring ceremony in October. I can very safely say that without Jeff pointing me that way, I never would have found the German craftsman who created a piece of jewelry that's also a very special symbol of my Master / slave relationship with my Serafina.

Thank you Jeff Gord, for having touched my life, and thank you for making the BDSM world a little more unique and special place to inhabit. You are, and will be, missed.

a peak into the Samadhi toy cabinet . . .

The top two news stories today in a Google News search for the term BDSM are stories from illustrious college newspapers!

Washington DC's own George Washington University, in their independent student newspaper, The GW Hatchet, posted Where are GW's kinksters? Campus BDSM crowd needs to come together on January 13th.  That's currently the top news story for BDSM on Google!

Coming in at #2 is The Stanford Daily's article OMG BDSM, which refers to the Kardinal Kink, which appears to be Stanford's own underground BDSM organization.

College is a time for exploration, kudos to the brave students and the brave newspapers for their explorations of kink!

We're moving!  MichaelSamadhi.com is going to be Michael and Serafina's primary residence on the web.
Don't go away, this blog will still be active, we will continue to post tasty tidbits here.  In fact, those post will likely appear frequently than over the last year, as we've returned to blogging again more seriously. . . .

It was time to go get a self hosted blog, as I'd long been frustrated by the limitations of blogger format.  Blogger is a fine medium, but it's basic.  Lacking the ability to add widgets and other features offered for WordPress, I find myself wanting the additional control.

What dominant doesn't want more control?

photo by Serafina Samadhi

 Just think how many floggers could be made out of all the leather used for footballs each year . . .

btw - if we seem a little absent here these days, it's because we've moved!

MichaelSamadhi.com is our new primary home.

A friend of mine, a truly sweet and adorable girl btw, wrote yesterday at FetLife bragging about her Daddy.

Tulips in the living, bath and bedroom. A cute card for his babygirl, a meaningful card for his partner and a single chocolate.

I was honestly impressed . . .

My response?

That's so beautiful! Now I feel like a slacker for only getting my slave two teddy bears and a three-way . . .

I was under the weather earlier today, so I asked Serafina to fill in at MichaelSamadhi.com where she created a great post for Sinful Sunday - Restrained and Waiting at the Kinky Kabin.

So, I found myself feeling better tonight, with this wonderful cigar play image.  I could not bear just sitting on it for next week's Sinful Sunday.  I hope it's not an egregious offense for a couple to post two different images for a single Sinful Sunday, at least the posts are at two different domains ...

Come be part of Sinful Sunday yourself, or click the icon and see who else is playing today.

I've been getting more and more into bladeplay of all kinds. Serafina's getting her clothes cut off by machetes and fantasy knives and swords . . . Now I have a new trick to learn . . . For the next collaring ceremony I put together!

Don't you love it, when a slave is literally eating from your hands?



Sinful Sunday is all about the image.  Click the icon and see who else is Sinful this Sunday.